Sunday, started off as just a normal day. After waking Larry, Bayleigh, and I headed into town to go to the grocery store. This was a MAJOR stock up trip and we filled two carts. Granted the one cart had a tote that filled the space, but it was piled high with groceries on top of it and let's be honest....when you are shopping like that it is easier to get all of the bags into two carts vs just one. So, we get home and put the groceries away after stopping for a rushed lunch, (cold food in the truck), and before I knew it I was sleepy and headed upstairs. (Come to find out Larry and Bayleigh also crashed out on the couch and chair downstairs). My sleep was good. Very deep and clearly MUCH needed.
I had the MOST WONDERFUL dream about my papa. He was in heaven and was sitting alone in his wheel chair. He was wearing his IU hat and grey jacket and greeted me as he did most times in the nursing home. When I hugged him, it was as if I could actually feel him hug me back--it was that real. Even though he was sitting in his wheel chair and was still 89 years old, (I have heard that in heaven everyone is 30), he was 100% healthy. He was strong. He was happy. The "room" he was in was white, but not like white walls, it was pure. It was heavenly. Almost like being in the clouds, but not. It's so hard to explain, but it was just peaceful and beautiful.
I said, you made it! He said, Yep, Yep, I made it. I inquired about mamaw and he said she wasn't there with him, she was there, but just not with him. I was disappointed. I miss her. Even though I was SO young when she passed I still remember some things about her and I miss her. I then asked what happened. I kept fumbling over that question to him because I was careful not to say, how did you die. I think that would have been rude and cold. He knew exactly what I meant and said to me, I just layed down, (IDK if that is the correct form of that word), and had a stroke. Now, this has not been confirmed. The family was told that his death happened very quickly and it is believed that he either had a stroke or a heart attack. Papa had had a few mini strokes in his time and I don't know if because of him going through those lead my mind to lean more that direction or what. I know that when it first happened I just always thought heart attack, and can't explain why I thought that either. Just out of the two possibilities I just thought heart attack. ANYWAYS, so then I fumbled over my next question and I asked, How is "he". Papa replied, "He"? I said, yeah, the big guy. And papa said, "God is Good". I instantly woke up.
I KNOW God is good and was shocked that that was a question I asked. This dream was SO real. It was as if I was really there with him. I closed my eyes and tried to go back to sleep to pick up where I left off, but I was wide awake. Typically when I wake I am groggy and it takes me a minute to muster up the will to climb out of bed, but not this time. I hopped up and headed downstairs to find my sleeping angels in the chair and on the couch. :)
I miss papa so much. When I drive pass the nursing home and see the residents sitting on the porch in their wheel chairs with their families it brings back a lot of good memories with papa. I miss that. I can still hear his giggle and I still often times think of the little phrases he would say, for instance--I apologize now to anyone offended, but when Bayleigh was a baby and I would need to change her bottom I would call her over and he would look at her and say, "Did somebody shit in your drawers"? LOL! That always makes me smile. He was funny. He was witty. I remember when she was that tiny she would hear his cane tap on the sidewalk before he'd ever even BANG on the door with is cane to knock and she'd crawl as fast as she could or walk once she was to that point, and greet him at the door. Thankfully we had the chair by the door so he could easily sit because she'd be pawing at this legs to brace herself for standing. After sitting, she would go straight for the cane. He thought that was funny. He even brought her over his old wooden cane to keep and play with, and she did, but it didn't slow down her love for his metal one. :) Ironically, Bayleigh is the age that I was when mamaw died. I don't have a lot of memories that are fresh in my head of mamaw, but I can remember bits and pieces. As of now, Bayleigh still remembers papa and certain things that even I have forgotten. I hope she keeps the memories forever because she certainly thought the world of that man, and he certainly thought the world of her too. :)
Please note his grey jacket and IU hat. :)He really was a cute old man. ;)
Thanks for checking in with us.
Love,
Jenn
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