Goodbye Papa.

Died. That was the only word I heard from the phone across the room Sunday night, when Mimi called mom to tell her papa had passed away.

Shock. That was the only thing I could feel emotionally.

When the phone rang Sunday night, May 30, 2010 we were all sitting down with mom having a late dinner, so Bayleigh picked up the phone and immediately said, Grammy, it's for you and I think it's Mimi. I don't know if mom adjusted the phone just right or what happened, but as I was sitting across the room I heard Mimi say died. I immediately threw my food down and jumped up saying OMG! Larry said, What? I said, My grandpa just died. At that point my mom was bawling. We immediately shoed up and loaded up to head to Greenfield to the nursing home. Mimi, Anna, Uncle Larry, Carole, Casey, and Uncle Rick were already there. Mom, Larry, Bayleigh, and myself ended up being the only others to arrive.

It was so sad. My heart was breaking for my family. I still, as I sit here now, am in shock. I cannot believe that Papa is gone. He was doing so well. Mom had went to see him that day and he did mention that he didn't feel well, but not so bad that he needed medical attention or anything out of the norm. He just wanted to go to bed. So, mom and Jessica left him to rest. My poor mom--I feel so bad for her. She said, when I left my dad I never thought he would die. I'm so thankful she had that day with him. Mimi had went up with Anna after mom had left and papa was not feeling well still and wanted to go back to bed. He was hot--SO not like him. So hot in fact he wanted a fan in his room. Mimi helped him changed down to his boxers and get onto the bed and sitsuated with the fan brought in from the nurses station. Once he was settled she left and sought out a couple of nurses to check on him throught the evening so that once he fell asleep he didn't get chilled with the lack of blankets and the fan blowing.

Mimi and Anna had barely crossed the Shelby County line when the cell phone rang that he was unresponsive and to head back to the Greenfield E.R. So, of course they did. They told her the E.R. because EMT's had been called.

Mimi then called back and questioned the word unresponsive--she asked if her dad had vitals. At this time, the nurse said for her to just return to the facility. Facility being the nursing home. So, she thought--ok, the EMT's came and have him rallied and he refused to go to the hospital. As she walked down the hall of the nursing home she seen the EMT's standing by the nurses station and heard as she was walking toward them them ask if this was the family. Once she stopped to get the news they said, I'm sorry.

I'm Sorry. Two words that change a person's life forever. Two words that in that instant are almost impossible to grasp the meaning of. Two words that at that moment were not expected in the least.

We all sat with Papa and waited for Glen George to come and get him. He looked peaceful. He died peaceful. He died quickly. The cause of death is believed to be a stroke. Over the years we have seen Papa very sick. For him to be taken from this Earth that way is nothing more than a Blessing. Papa was 89 years and 4 months old to the day. He lived a good life. When he died, he was not suffering. Yes, he didn't feel well, but he wasn't sick as we had seem him in the past. I'm sure that most will agree that if that is how one is to go then that is the only way to go. For that, I am thankful.

I miss him. I love him. I am sad that our time with him is done. I have many good memories with Papa. For many years of my life he was the father figure I had. Papa is the man that gave me away at my wedding. He cried that day. Papa really thought the world of Larry and Larry really thought the world of him as well. Papa came to the hospital when I had Bayleigh and that was a very proud moment for me as well. I hope that Bayleigh never forgets how much he loved her. I am sure she won't. When we lived across the street from him he would walk over everyday and sit with us. We'd hear the bang of his cane on the screen door and Bayleigh would crawl with excitement to the door and meet him there. She LOVED his cane. He would sit and she would crawl up to his lap and go straight for the cane. :) Papa immediately took notice to the routine and even brought her one of his old canes to keep and play with all the time. It didn't matter--she'd hear that knock and still go straight for his. When it was time for teething he would notice her chewing on her toys and he'd pull his pocket knife (closed and dirty as well) out of his pocket and let her chew on that (as of course I cringed from being a germaphobe). BUT, I didn't say anything and just let him let her chew on his knife, and every single time he did I'd get the same story of how his kids loved to do the same thing. He gave her that knife and last summer my cousin brought 5 snapping turtles over to be cleaned and we sprung Papa from the nursing home and he helped the boys clean those turtles. He needed his knife back to show them how it was done and then put it back in his pocket. I think that that same day Papa was pretty proud of me. I jumped in and helped those boys get them cleaned. He said, Yeah--that's alright and would laugh.

As kids, mom and Papa would take us to Clifford Nasby's place to go fishing. He would collect cans--so many it would fill the trunk of his old cars--and Jessica and I would be out there deep in cans helping him unload. Papa would drive us to school. He sat in the garage for countless hours and teach Larry the ins and outs of "junkin". There is good money there. They have many good memories in that garage. Monday being Memorial Day Larry didn't have to work and he spent most of the day in that garage. I didn't need to ask him why or what he was doing out there, I already knew. Yesterday was Tuesday and he went back to work. Papa was a turtle man as I briefly explained earlier. Larry brought home a turtle he found in the road yesterday. I know what that turtle means...and I am happy that he is home safe with the Lord. This TURTLE! even layed two eggs in the tub Larry had her in. Needless to say, Larry has made a habitate in our back yard for her and her eggs. :) I hope they survive.

I'm not gonna lie, this has not fully hit me yet. It will. In time, it will and then I will have to pull myself together and move on.

The calling will be on Saturday, June 5th from 9-11 with Funeral services beginning at 11. Larry, Bayleigh, and I will not be there. We have had a trip planned for many months and mom and Mimi assured me that we need to go. I think that it is too the best thing for me at this time. I got to say goodbye to papa while being surrounded by my family that actually went to see him. Even if only on a regular basis for a few months. At least they went.

I have so much more to say, but can't at this time find the words for how I am feeling. I think I will end this now and keep these thoughts to myself. Thank you for all your thoughts and prayers. On Facebook people have been sharing memories they have of papa and most agree that we all lost a wonderful man. Those memories are comforting. God, I ask that you take good care of him until we can meet again. I love you papa and miss you so much already. Rest in Peace. Love, Jennie

**sorry for any misspellings.