Just Listen...

I have known for quite a while now that I am not that great when it comes to actually listening and hearing my daughter out. I am so easily frustrated by her whiney voice. Her sassy back talk followed quickly by her STICKING HER TONGUE OUT! (drives me crazy). Her lack of respect. Bayleigh doesn't treat everyone that way, but she does to Larry and I. I try to tell her that of all the people in the world Daddy and Mommy should be the two people she respects the most. As I sit here now, I am aware that by me interrupting her and not hearing her out--no matter what her tone may be, I am not respecting her as well and for that I am sad. I do this so often. I don't think it makes me a bad parent, but it certainly doesn't make me a great parent either.
Last night, December 14, 2010 we took our annual trip to Christmast at the Zoo with Eric, Rachel, and Max. We went into the pavilion where Santa was and while Eric, Rachel, and Max were visiting Santa, Bayleigh and I decided to walk around. We went over to the section filled with toys and this is how the dialog went....

B: Mommy, the penguins are SO cute.

Me: Yes, they are!

B: Can I buy one....(The dots represent me interrupting her)

Me: No

B: But mommy I just want to buy a penguin....

Me: No Bayleigh. We are not buying another freaking stuffed animal.

B: Mom! Please...

Me: No Bay! You have so much junk. I am not buying anything tonight.

Larry: What's going on?

Me: She wants to buy one of those penguins and I am not wasting the money on another stuffed animal. You deal with the whines because I am done....(I walk away).

(Bayleigh walks up to me again)

B: Mommy, I just want one of those penguins....

Me: NO Bay!

Larry: Jennifer, just shut up and hear her out! Bayleigh tell mom what you want.

B: Mommy, I just want to buy one of those penguins for the kids that don't have any toys!

Me: ((I feel less than an inch tall. I am instantly filled with pride, that my 6 year old seen the Toys for Tots box and wanted to give another child a penguin that she thought was so cute)). I knelt down to her level, gave her a hug, and immediately said, Absolutely, let's go!

She couldn't pick just one so I let her buy two and watched with sheer pride as she dropped them into the nearly empty box.

I think a lot of our miscommunications comes directly from me not hearing her out. It instigates her bad attitude and her sassy mouth. This morning while getting Bayleigh ready for school I hugged her again and suggested that her and I work together and try harder to hear each other out so we can get along much better. She threw her arms around my neck and said DEAL! :)
I still feel pretty bad about what happened last night, but I think it was a wake up call that I most certainly needed.

Moral of the story: Just because it's a child talking to you--SHUT UP and LISTEN!!!!

Thanks for checking in. Until next blog...
Love,
Jenn
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