SO! A lot has been happening, but lets start with this one...the last blog about not getting the Suburban from the blog before that...well, we did get it after all!!! I am very happy to say the least! It had some problems on the back end with the paint, but it is now fixed and we are the proud owners!!! Yeah for us getting out of the explorer!!!!
Also, I am not going to go into details tonight, but I have figured out what has been up with me medically and it is not my gallbladder as originally thought. It is actually my pancreas--actually Sphincter of Oddi Disfunction (S.O.D) to be exact. I'll explain in greater detail soon.
Thank you for your prayers and for checking in on us. Sorry this is so vague tonight, but momma's tired. :)
Jenn
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Friday, March 12, 2010
Scratch That....
So, the previous blog with the pretty pictures of the Suburban--Scratch that. We are not getting it due to a bad spot on the back. I am SUPER bummed, but hey--what can you do.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
A Lot to Catch up on
Wow, It seems like it has been years since I have sat down to blog. I've missed it, but have simply been too busy to do it.
So much has been going on. First let me say that everyone here is doing well. Bayleigh is doing great with her glasses--even though after 2 weeks we had to get a new pair because her and I were playing in the hotel room and she fell on her face on the bed and they broke. :( She blames me 100%, but whatever.
Larry has been kind of promoted at work. Starting in June he will not only do delivery, but he will also do service in the afternoon. It kind of sucks because he will have to stay at work all day, but the fact of the matter is that he is 31 years old and cannot handle those tanks and bags of salt for the rest of his life. Culligan has been amazing to him and to us. They recognize his hard work and let him know that which is not always done by employers.
I on the other hand have been having issues. Sunday, February 14th about 1 a.m. I ended up in the ER with SEVERE abdominal pain. Since then I have have had many attacks and doctors appointments. I am taking Oxycodone which sucks because it knocks me out and I am pretty much useless, but it is the only thing that controls the pain. I see the specialist on the 17th of this month. Dr. Peters said that he really believes it is my gallbladder. I had a HIDA Scan which turned out like this. The lady at the hospital told me that between 30-60 is normal on the scan. Anything below that would mean that my GB isn't functioning or at least not all the way. My reading was 91.8. When I asked what that meant she said that I have what is considered a "super squeezer" that would more than likely be controled with medication. Well, Dr. Peters still says GB, but that if he sends me to a surgeon with that HIDA Scan they will send me away wasting my time and money, so we are going to the specialist and going from there. Hopefully we can get this figured out and relief will be on the way soon.
Larry and I are in the process of trying to purchase a new to us truck. My Explorer has been such a pain in the rear. I am DONE with FORD! We supposidly have a 2003--two yrs older than we hoped--Chevy Suburban on the way. We were having trouble finding one in our price range with everything we needed. Then the guy helping us found this 2003 and it is fully loaded and it really is pretty. It's got 3rd row seating, leather, HEATED leather, sun roof, 4WD, DVD, Power seats, Power pedals, it's really nice. Below are some pictures of it. Let's just hope that nothing goes wrong and we have it here NO later than the end of next week. Larry is getting frustrated--as am I, but we know that shipping can be a pain so we are just hanging in there.
Thanks for checking on us! Enjoy this wonderful weather we are having and until next time!
Love,
Jenn
YOU CAN SEE THE DVD PLAYER BEHIND THE SUNROOF ON THE RIGHT.
SOME OF THE BUTTONS ON THE RADIO SHOW WEAR, BUT IT'S TO BE EXPECTED I GUESS.
LOOK AT THAT ROOM BEHIND THE 3RD ROW!!!!!
So much has been going on. First let me say that everyone here is doing well. Bayleigh is doing great with her glasses--even though after 2 weeks we had to get a new pair because her and I were playing in the hotel room and she fell on her face on the bed and they broke. :( She blames me 100%, but whatever.
Larry has been kind of promoted at work. Starting in June he will not only do delivery, but he will also do service in the afternoon. It kind of sucks because he will have to stay at work all day, but the fact of the matter is that he is 31 years old and cannot handle those tanks and bags of salt for the rest of his life. Culligan has been amazing to him and to us. They recognize his hard work and let him know that which is not always done by employers.
I on the other hand have been having issues. Sunday, February 14th about 1 a.m. I ended up in the ER with SEVERE abdominal pain. Since then I have have had many attacks and doctors appointments. I am taking Oxycodone which sucks because it knocks me out and I am pretty much useless, but it is the only thing that controls the pain. I see the specialist on the 17th of this month. Dr. Peters said that he really believes it is my gallbladder. I had a HIDA Scan which turned out like this. The lady at the hospital told me that between 30-60 is normal on the scan. Anything below that would mean that my GB isn't functioning or at least not all the way. My reading was 91.8. When I asked what that meant she said that I have what is considered a "super squeezer" that would more than likely be controled with medication. Well, Dr. Peters still says GB, but that if he sends me to a surgeon with that HIDA Scan they will send me away wasting my time and money, so we are going to the specialist and going from there. Hopefully we can get this figured out and relief will be on the way soon.
Larry and I are in the process of trying to purchase a new to us truck. My Explorer has been such a pain in the rear. I am DONE with FORD! We supposidly have a 2003--two yrs older than we hoped--Chevy Suburban on the way. We were having trouble finding one in our price range with everything we needed. Then the guy helping us found this 2003 and it is fully loaded and it really is pretty. It's got 3rd row seating, leather, HEATED leather, sun roof, 4WD, DVD, Power seats, Power pedals, it's really nice. Below are some pictures of it. Let's just hope that nothing goes wrong and we have it here NO later than the end of next week. Larry is getting frustrated--as am I, but we know that shipping can be a pain so we are just hanging in there.
Thanks for checking on us! Enjoy this wonderful weather we are having and until next time!
Love,
Jenn
YOU CAN SEE THE DVD PLAYER BEHIND THE SUNROOF ON THE RIGHT.
SOME OF THE BUTTONS ON THE RADIO SHOW WEAR, BUT IT'S TO BE EXPECTED I GUESS.
LOOK AT THAT ROOM BEHIND THE 3RD ROW!!!!!Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Are your windows clean?
I woke on Sunday morning with my TV on in my bedroom and one of the usual church shows was on a local channel. I don't know what it was about that sermon, but it struck me so much so that I have thought about it constantly since Sunday morning.It was the story of a woman who looked out her window each day and watched as her neighbor hung her dirty/dingy clothes out on the line to dry. Each day she thought to herself. Why in the world is she hanging those filthy clothes out to dry. Her washer must not be worth a darn to leave her clothing in such terrible shape. Then one morning she was watching her hang her clothes out again, but this time they were clean and nice and she said to her husband, The neighbors must have gotten a new washing machine. They are no longer hanging dirty/dingy clothes out on that line. The husband replied, Honey, I washed the windows this morning before you rose out of bed!
It is so easy to get carried away with careless thoughts of judging others and with being so critical of each other, so I am going to make sure that I focus more on my windows and making sure they are clean before I let thoughts such as those cross my mind. I am not saying that it will be easy or that I will be successful 100% of the time, but I am certainly going to try. I believe that if each person in the world would take the time to "clean their windows" this world might be a less cruel world to live in. :)
Just thought I'd share. Thanks for reading! Until next time.
Jenn
Monday, February 1, 2010
Glasses
Well, it looks like the dreaded day has come that Dr. Robbins has decided to put Bayleigh into glasses. I say dreaded because I know what a pain glasses are, but needless to say, they are really cool at first so Bayleigh is excited and can't wait for them to come in. The picture on the left is the frames she got, but (and you can't tell in this picture), instead of being purple frames we ordered brown. (to match her clothing better). Bayleigh had her appointment on Thursday, January 28th, 2010 I could tell by the way she struggled with the lines she would need them. Her left eye was 20/40 and the right was 20/30. That still isn't bad, but too much of a change from last January to let it go another 12 months. :( To top it all off, she woke at 3:30 am and vomited for hours out of nowhere. That sucked. **This is so gross, but funny!: When she got into our room she burst in and yelled mom and then puked right inside the door. Well, there is a vent which in this old house is just a hole in the floor that is a hole in the ceiling downstairs to let warm air come up and when we got her downstairs, Larry said, Bayleigh did you come down here and get sick? She said no, and when I seen him glance up to the ceiling I KNEW what had happened. LOL! Gross, but so funny! Luckily, I got shower duty and he had to clean that mess up. LOL! To our relief she just had a 24 hour bug and got over it quickly, but all day Friday Larry wasn't feeling well, and was in the bathroom all day too. Then Saturday night I started feeling bad, but mine was sore throat. I took an antibiotic and went to bed, but Sunday when I woke I was so sick. My throat felt better, but I had a migrain like I have never had before. I barely made it out of bed. Luckily again, it didn't last more than Sunday.
SO, things seem to be getting back to normal around here. Not too much else is going on. Hope all is well with you and your families! Thanks for reading and until next time! :)
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
I Fear...
EVERYTHING! This blog is very personal to me and I am really surprised that I am putting this out there for all to read, but I have to. I am hoping that by "saying" it outloud that I get some sort of relief, or that this burden is somehow lifted off my shoulders.
I started out by using the word EVERYTHING because I honestly FEAR EVERYTHING all the time. I am constantly in a state of worry and stress. Even when I am at my happiest I always have something in the back of my mind that I am worried about. I don't know how to change this. I don't really share my feelings about this with anyone because I know that they are going to say I am ridiculous. I know this because I am.
I wish I could, because I want to, just let it go. I want to enjoy this short life that we are given. I know it is a control thing. I don't know why I feel I must be in complete control at all times. When I have something that is out of my control then the anxiety sets in and the constant panic of things not being right and it is driving me crazy.
Yesterday, Bayleigh went to the dentist. The office has a policy that parents are not allowed to go back. Well, I was "ok" with this until Friday. I wrote "ok" like that because it did or heck even still does bother me, but I DO understand why they have this policy. I really do, but again--control wise, I want to be back there to make sure that she is brushing right and that there is no problems. Well, Friday I am watching 20/20 and let me just tell you, and my aunt said it right, that horrifing isn't even a good enough word to describe what was on there. They, being dentist offices--Small Smiles to be exact, were TORTURING kids, by strapping them to boards and doing proceedures that didn't even need to be done. The kids were SCREAMING bloody murder, I mean screams that were cutting right through me to hear. It was the saddest, cruelest thing I have seen in a long time. One child had 16, yes 1-6 root canals done in one sitting! Now, how is it that a child needs 16 root canals really??? I understand the board thing. Kids need to be where they are not moving and kicking and fighting because they can get hurt, but by me thinking about this mental pictures go through my head of Bayleigh being strapped down like that and it tears me up! They went as far as to turn the music up so that the parents couldn't hear the screams. That right there tells me that they KNEW what they were doing was wrong because they intentionally took steps to hid it from parents.
SO anyways, we go to go back and I already made up my mind that I was going back. I didn't care. I couldn't just let her go back by herself know what I had just seen on Friday. But then I was also torn because 1. I didn't want to be THAT parent. 2. I didn't want the doctor to be offended. and 3. I really struggle with know when to "cut the cord". I was SO MAD because the tech of course did her job of telling me know, and then I of course did my part of saying uh, sorry I'm coming back and if you would have watched 20/20 on Friday then you would understand why. Of course her response was, no sorry and then I just took it upon myself to say uh, no sorry and followed Bayleigh back. I WAS NOT rude. And then I get attitude from the tech, Larry heard it too and she was snotty and said, well, we will just see what Dr. Mann says about that. I replied OK, we will. I wish I could put her tone in this blog so you could get the full extent of where I am coming from.
I half expected, because of her tone, Dr. Mann to come and tell me that they would not be able to treat Bayleigh anymore because of my defiance. I think by that time I was so offended by the tech that I seriously would have been ok with that. I sat there quietly the whole time and stayed out of the way. Knowing in the back of my mind, and yes-it was bothering me--that I would most definately be the talk of the office when we left. I was so angry at the techs attitude that I just wanted this witch to get her hands off my child. This seriously was the thoughts going on in the back of my mind. CRAZY I know! I blow things way out of the water.
BUT anyways, so Dr. Mann comes over and he asks me if I have any concerns and I share my concerns about her teeth grinding and he is VERY nice and tells me about that. And then I say, if you guys get the chance, you should really look up the 20/20 episode from Friday night. (the tech was sitting there too). Dr. Mann, NICELY, replies that he had seen that before and explains that they have the no parent policy because most kids look to mom or dad for their escape. I GET that, I really do. And I told him that and I also explained that seriously had I not just seen that Friday I wouldn't have been SO insistant on being back their, but that for my sake I just had to be. I told him that it is important to me to have a trusting relationship with Bayleigh's doctors and well, lets just be honest, how can you have a trusting relationship if you don't go back and talk to them? (Ididn't tell him that part) I felt better after my talk with him.
BUT THEN, I am in bed last night WORRYING that I offended them! Geeze, it never freaking ends with me. I was, or am, heck I don't know, considering writting an appology letter and thanking him for being so kind, but then I think I just need to let it go. I don't know what to do. I know that unfairly people get thrown into a category that is often times brought about because of 1 person. I know this is not fair and I didn't mean to throw Dr. Mann into this category, but I was so upset watching that they I was crying, and my stomach hurt, I was sick from it. (Not like vomitting sick, but well, you know what I mean).
This is just the latest of my worry, but it is like this all the time with every thing. In June, we are flying to FL and I am worried about being the fat girl on the plane that nobody wants to sit by. When we lay in bed at night, we have space heaters upstairs, and I am in constant worry that they will catch on fire and I can't sleep. When my babies are here I am contantly watching over them like a hawk in fear they will fall and hit their heads or that they will choke while they are eating so I make sure that their food if more than enough cut up so they are safe. I wonder constantly if I unplugged the hair straightener when I am not at home when I KNOW full well, that I did and checked it 4 or 5 times before walking out the door too. When we are driving down the road I worry about other drivers not seeing me and try to stay away from other cars on the Interstate. When out to dinner, the salt and pepper shakers on the tables turn my stomach because you don't know who touched them or what is on them. (This whole germaphobe thing really went haywire once I had Bayleigh and I have to keep my home clean from germs so that if someone is sick they can get better soon and so that none of the rest of us get sick, because I want my parents to have enjoyable evenings with their babies and not having to care for a sick one). I just want everyone happy and healthy, AND safe. When I am at home and I have to go pick Bayleigh up from school or Colin up from school I fear the whole time until they are with me that someone will go into the school or another student will go crazy in the school and go on a rampage hurting the kids. THIS IS MEDIA! This is what the news is doing to me. We can't just sit back and be naive to everything and take on the attitude of "that won't happen to me" because EVERYONE would like to think that wouldn't happen to them. BUT I also, have to figure out a way to fix this about me. I can't continue to live my life like this. I know that I will think about this blog for weeks and wonder honestly how many of my readers will think I am and LOONEY PERSON! I am NOT.
I promise I am not. I might just be using this word as an excuse to justify my actions, but I feel like I am cautious. Let's face it, we have to be cautious. They saying goes, you must first look out for #1. and that is so true, until you have kids and then you are not #1 you are at the very least #2. Kids don't know. We have to watch over them, guide them, teach them to live and be safe.
My goodness, after rereading up to this point point I am beginning to think I am a looney person! Sounds like I have OCD or something. I don't know. I have to figure out a way to fix me. Any suggestions?
I really do already feel better getting some of this out. These are things and FEARS that I have held in for so long they were consuming my thinking all the time. I just want to be the BEST mother and the BEST person that I can be. That is the ONLY thing I want out of life at this point, just be the best and as positive as I can be. (How can I be positive with the fears I have that are so negative all the time)? I want to give the ones I love and care so much for everything I can possibly give them. On the same hand I don't want to be too controlling and I don't want to hold Bayleigh and the ones I love with such a tight fist that they don't know how to live and that they don't have the independence that is crucial for being respectful, functioning adults.
Fine lines: a term that was just used in a text from a good friend. They are bad for me because I clearly don't know which is the right side to be on. In todays world parents seem to be too controlling or not controlling enough. I, after 5 years, still have not figured out how to balance the two. And YES, this bothers me too. :)
Well, thanks for reading and giving me a chance to get this out. Now, I must get on with lunch. :) Please feel free to leave comments or emails or texts sharing your thoughts. Even if you do think I am looney, let me know. :)
Love,
Jenn
I started out by using the word EVERYTHING because I honestly FEAR EVERYTHING all the time. I am constantly in a state of worry and stress. Even when I am at my happiest I always have something in the back of my mind that I am worried about. I don't know how to change this. I don't really share my feelings about this with anyone because I know that they are going to say I am ridiculous. I know this because I am.
I wish I could, because I want to, just let it go. I want to enjoy this short life that we are given. I know it is a control thing. I don't know why I feel I must be in complete control at all times. When I have something that is out of my control then the anxiety sets in and the constant panic of things not being right and it is driving me crazy.
Yesterday, Bayleigh went to the dentist. The office has a policy that parents are not allowed to go back. Well, I was "ok" with this until Friday. I wrote "ok" like that because it did or heck even still does bother me, but I DO understand why they have this policy. I really do, but again--control wise, I want to be back there to make sure that she is brushing right and that there is no problems. Well, Friday I am watching 20/20 and let me just tell you, and my aunt said it right, that horrifing isn't even a good enough word to describe what was on there. They, being dentist offices--Small Smiles to be exact, were TORTURING kids, by strapping them to boards and doing proceedures that didn't even need to be done. The kids were SCREAMING bloody murder, I mean screams that were cutting right through me to hear. It was the saddest, cruelest thing I have seen in a long time. One child had 16, yes 1-6 root canals done in one sitting! Now, how is it that a child needs 16 root canals really??? I understand the board thing. Kids need to be where they are not moving and kicking and fighting because they can get hurt, but by me thinking about this mental pictures go through my head of Bayleigh being strapped down like that and it tears me up! They went as far as to turn the music up so that the parents couldn't hear the screams. That right there tells me that they KNEW what they were doing was wrong because they intentionally took steps to hid it from parents.
SO anyways, we go to go back and I already made up my mind that I was going back. I didn't care. I couldn't just let her go back by herself know what I had just seen on Friday. But then I was also torn because 1. I didn't want to be THAT parent. 2. I didn't want the doctor to be offended. and 3. I really struggle with know when to "cut the cord". I was SO MAD because the tech of course did her job of telling me know, and then I of course did my part of saying uh, sorry I'm coming back and if you would have watched 20/20 on Friday then you would understand why. Of course her response was, no sorry and then I just took it upon myself to say uh, no sorry and followed Bayleigh back. I WAS NOT rude. And then I get attitude from the tech, Larry heard it too and she was snotty and said, well, we will just see what Dr. Mann says about that. I replied OK, we will. I wish I could put her tone in this blog so you could get the full extent of where I am coming from.
I half expected, because of her tone, Dr. Mann to come and tell me that they would not be able to treat Bayleigh anymore because of my defiance. I think by that time I was so offended by the tech that I seriously would have been ok with that. I sat there quietly the whole time and stayed out of the way. Knowing in the back of my mind, and yes-it was bothering me--that I would most definately be the talk of the office when we left. I was so angry at the techs attitude that I just wanted this witch to get her hands off my child. This seriously was the thoughts going on in the back of my mind. CRAZY I know! I blow things way out of the water.
BUT anyways, so Dr. Mann comes over and he asks me if I have any concerns and I share my concerns about her teeth grinding and he is VERY nice and tells me about that. And then I say, if you guys get the chance, you should really look up the 20/20 episode from Friday night. (the tech was sitting there too). Dr. Mann, NICELY, replies that he had seen that before and explains that they have the no parent policy because most kids look to mom or dad for their escape. I GET that, I really do. And I told him that and I also explained that seriously had I not just seen that Friday I wouldn't have been SO insistant on being back their, but that for my sake I just had to be. I told him that it is important to me to have a trusting relationship with Bayleigh's doctors and well, lets just be honest, how can you have a trusting relationship if you don't go back and talk to them? (Ididn't tell him that part) I felt better after my talk with him.
BUT THEN, I am in bed last night WORRYING that I offended them! Geeze, it never freaking ends with me. I was, or am, heck I don't know, considering writting an appology letter and thanking him for being so kind, but then I think I just need to let it go. I don't know what to do. I know that unfairly people get thrown into a category that is often times brought about because of 1 person. I know this is not fair and I didn't mean to throw Dr. Mann into this category, but I was so upset watching that they I was crying, and my stomach hurt, I was sick from it. (Not like vomitting sick, but well, you know what I mean).
This is just the latest of my worry, but it is like this all the time with every thing. In June, we are flying to FL and I am worried about being the fat girl on the plane that nobody wants to sit by. When we lay in bed at night, we have space heaters upstairs, and I am in constant worry that they will catch on fire and I can't sleep. When my babies are here I am contantly watching over them like a hawk in fear they will fall and hit their heads or that they will choke while they are eating so I make sure that their food if more than enough cut up so they are safe. I wonder constantly if I unplugged the hair straightener when I am not at home when I KNOW full well, that I did and checked it 4 or 5 times before walking out the door too. When we are driving down the road I worry about other drivers not seeing me and try to stay away from other cars on the Interstate. When out to dinner, the salt and pepper shakers on the tables turn my stomach because you don't know who touched them or what is on them. (This whole germaphobe thing really went haywire once I had Bayleigh and I have to keep my home clean from germs so that if someone is sick they can get better soon and so that none of the rest of us get sick, because I want my parents to have enjoyable evenings with their babies and not having to care for a sick one). I just want everyone happy and healthy, AND safe. When I am at home and I have to go pick Bayleigh up from school or Colin up from school I fear the whole time until they are with me that someone will go into the school or another student will go crazy in the school and go on a rampage hurting the kids. THIS IS MEDIA! This is what the news is doing to me. We can't just sit back and be naive to everything and take on the attitude of "that won't happen to me" because EVERYONE would like to think that wouldn't happen to them. BUT I also, have to figure out a way to fix this about me. I can't continue to live my life like this. I know that I will think about this blog for weeks and wonder honestly how many of my readers will think I am and LOONEY PERSON! I am NOT.
I promise I am not. I might just be using this word as an excuse to justify my actions, but I feel like I am cautious. Let's face it, we have to be cautious. They saying goes, you must first look out for #1. and that is so true, until you have kids and then you are not #1 you are at the very least #2. Kids don't know. We have to watch over them, guide them, teach them to live and be safe.
My goodness, after rereading up to this point point I am beginning to think I am a looney person! Sounds like I have OCD or something. I don't know. I have to figure out a way to fix me. Any suggestions?
I really do already feel better getting some of this out. These are things and FEARS that I have held in for so long they were consuming my thinking all the time. I just want to be the BEST mother and the BEST person that I can be. That is the ONLY thing I want out of life at this point, just be the best and as positive as I can be. (How can I be positive with the fears I have that are so negative all the time)? I want to give the ones I love and care so much for everything I can possibly give them. On the same hand I don't want to be too controlling and I don't want to hold Bayleigh and the ones I love with such a tight fist that they don't know how to live and that they don't have the independence that is crucial for being respectful, functioning adults.
Fine lines: a term that was just used in a text from a good friend. They are bad for me because I clearly don't know which is the right side to be on. In todays world parents seem to be too controlling or not controlling enough. I, after 5 years, still have not figured out how to balance the two. And YES, this bothers me too. :)
Well, thanks for reading and giving me a chance to get this out. Now, I must get on with lunch. :) Please feel free to leave comments or emails or texts sharing your thoughts. Even if you do think I am looney, let me know. :)
Love,
Jenn
Sunday, January 10, 2010
New Year's Resolutions? Really?!
Well fellow readers, I am blogging about a topic that have been undecided about blogging on and well, here it goes....I, Jennifer Marie Rutherford, had decided that I am making New Year's Resolutions! There, I said it. This is a big deal from me because I don't typically do so. I feel like N.Y.R's are nothing more than set ups to fail. And I typically would fail such resolutions MISERABLY! SO, here they go:
1. I am going to lose weight. Goal: 60 pounds by June 5th--which is the start of vacation.
2. I am going to be an all around healthier person. Info: I was watching the season premier of the Biggest Loser and when those poor people got on the scales for the initial weigh-ins and they were so shocked and I am sure embarrassed because this year, the first weigh-in was done in front of their whole community, and they were crying--I found myself crying too, as I walked on my new to me, but used treadmill for the first time ever because it hit me hard that THEY ARE ME! These people have let it be ok to be as big and unhealthy as they are, JUST LIKE ME! I don't want to make the impression on Bayleigh that being this big and unhealthy is ok. The fact of the matter is--I'm going to die. PERIOD!
3. I am going to be a more positive person. Info: I have to find the good and positive in most everything that drags me down because everything happens in life for a reason. I know that God has a plan for all of us, and I know that we do not know, nor are we meant to know what that plan is, but I have got to stop dwelling on the negatives in life and the what ifs and just live happily.
4. (and this is a big one), I am going to quit smoking again. Info: I have noticed that I pretty much have picked it up full time again and I must stop. Not only because of the healthier lifestyle, but because it's expensive, nasty, it stinks, I don't want Bayleigh ever thinking it's ok, and because quite frankly, there is no point. In 2004, I quit cold turkey--FOR 3 FULL YEARS! I got pregnant 3 days after I quit. I felt better and then I just started again. This time I am taking a different approach and I am weaning myself off. So far, it is working for me. I am down to only 3 per day or LESS! Which is good.
5. I am not going to use the words diet or dieting! Info: I feel that those two words come with so much pressure and I know it is all mind over matter, so those two words are out. My words are working out and eating right!
SO, these are my NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS! I know, to many they may not seem like much, but for me they are monumental.
I am fortunate enough to have a support system of wonderful friends and family. Larry has been absolutely amazing. He is helping by encouraging me to eat right and asks what I can or cannot have to eat. He knows that I won't workout in front of him so he takes Bayleigh upstairs while I use the wii at night. He has been so supportive and I need that from him. I need that from everyone. I have a good friend that is on the weight loss road with me and let me just say, that as weird as this sounds--it is so nice not being the only one in pain. :) (sorry Jenn)! She and I have the same wii game and the funniest thing is, we choose the same character to play us and the same trainer and had no clue. LOL! You know what they say, Great minds think alike! We are also counting points using the Weight Watchers program. I have to add here that at this point I am not walking around with the pressures of counting every single point. I am, as for now, just LEARNING to eat right and to eat healthy. Once I get that all figured out then it will be counting every point every day. It was nothing for me to only eat one time per day and let me tell you--as I am looking into my points books just to see what everything is, one sandwhich that I got from Denny's was 45 points! That is WAY more than I am even allowed a day! That doesn't include the Ranch dip and the smothered cheese fries and coke I enjoyed with it! SO, I am learning a lot. I am now eating 3 good meals per day with healthy snacks in between. Also, Kim is still working out and she and I talk or text in the evening and we ask if each other has worked out. Even she has hopped into our pain boat with the new exercise videos she is trying. Which happen to be by the other trainer that is on our wii Biggest Loser game. My mother is eating right and working out each night too. I can already see that she has lost some weight, but I am not sure how much. I am proud of her. Since we have lived as neighbors we have both been negative influences on each other and now we together have decided to take care of ourselves. Good job mom! SO GIRLS if you are reading! Keep up the good work! We CAN Do This!
I started my workout process on Sunday, January 3rd 2010 and as of tonight--1 week later. I am DOWN 7 POUNDS! Momma is very proud of herself and feel free my blogging buddies to leave comments on here or on Facebook or Myspace of encouragement and or discipline!
Thanks for Reading and Until Next time!
Jennifer
1. I am going to lose weight. Goal: 60 pounds by June 5th--which is the start of vacation.
2. I am going to be an all around healthier person. Info: I was watching the season premier of the Biggest Loser and when those poor people got on the scales for the initial weigh-ins and they were so shocked and I am sure embarrassed because this year, the first weigh-in was done in front of their whole community, and they were crying--I found myself crying too, as I walked on my new to me, but used treadmill for the first time ever because it hit me hard that THEY ARE ME! These people have let it be ok to be as big and unhealthy as they are, JUST LIKE ME! I don't want to make the impression on Bayleigh that being this big and unhealthy is ok. The fact of the matter is--I'm going to die. PERIOD!
3. I am going to be a more positive person. Info: I have to find the good and positive in most everything that drags me down because everything happens in life for a reason. I know that God has a plan for all of us, and I know that we do not know, nor are we meant to know what that plan is, but I have got to stop dwelling on the negatives in life and the what ifs and just live happily.
4. (and this is a big one), I am going to quit smoking again. Info: I have noticed that I pretty much have picked it up full time again and I must stop. Not only because of the healthier lifestyle, but because it's expensive, nasty, it stinks, I don't want Bayleigh ever thinking it's ok, and because quite frankly, there is no point. In 2004, I quit cold turkey--FOR 3 FULL YEARS! I got pregnant 3 days after I quit. I felt better and then I just started again. This time I am taking a different approach and I am weaning myself off. So far, it is working for me. I am down to only 3 per day or LESS! Which is good.
5. I am not going to use the words diet or dieting! Info: I feel that those two words come with so much pressure and I know it is all mind over matter, so those two words are out. My words are working out and eating right!
SO, these are my NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS! I know, to many they may not seem like much, but for me they are monumental.
I am fortunate enough to have a support system of wonderful friends and family. Larry has been absolutely amazing. He is helping by encouraging me to eat right and asks what I can or cannot have to eat. He knows that I won't workout in front of him so he takes Bayleigh upstairs while I use the wii at night. He has been so supportive and I need that from him. I need that from everyone. I have a good friend that is on the weight loss road with me and let me just say, that as weird as this sounds--it is so nice not being the only one in pain. :) (sorry Jenn)! She and I have the same wii game and the funniest thing is, we choose the same character to play us and the same trainer and had no clue. LOL! You know what they say, Great minds think alike! We are also counting points using the Weight Watchers program. I have to add here that at this point I am not walking around with the pressures of counting every single point. I am, as for now, just LEARNING to eat right and to eat healthy. Once I get that all figured out then it will be counting every point every day. It was nothing for me to only eat one time per day and let me tell you--as I am looking into my points books just to see what everything is, one sandwhich that I got from Denny's was 45 points! That is WAY more than I am even allowed a day! That doesn't include the Ranch dip and the smothered cheese fries and coke I enjoyed with it! SO, I am learning a lot. I am now eating 3 good meals per day with healthy snacks in between. Also, Kim is still working out and she and I talk or text in the evening and we ask if each other has worked out. Even she has hopped into our pain boat with the new exercise videos she is trying. Which happen to be by the other trainer that is on our wii Biggest Loser game. My mother is eating right and working out each night too. I can already see that she has lost some weight, but I am not sure how much. I am proud of her. Since we have lived as neighbors we have both been negative influences on each other and now we together have decided to take care of ourselves. Good job mom! SO GIRLS if you are reading! Keep up the good work! We CAN Do This!
I started my workout process on Sunday, January 3rd 2010 and as of tonight--1 week later. I am DOWN 7 POUNDS! Momma is very proud of herself and feel free my blogging buddies to leave comments on here or on Facebook or Myspace of encouragement and or discipline!
Thanks for Reading and Until Next time!
Jennifer
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