I Miss My Friend, and Papa Too!

Tonight is proving to be extremely difficult for me. At first, I didn't realize why I was so emotional, but I think I've figured it out and the true emotion began at lunchtime today.
We pulled into the restaurant to have a Mother's Day dinner with my mom after church and I pulled up beside Larry and he turned the music up and said listen...Let it Be by the Beatles was playing and we both just smiled. My good friend Candi was probably the Beatles #1 fan in the world and on the 19th it will be the two year anniversary of her death. I think of Candi all of the time and miss her SO much.
The day after Candi died I had a "God Moment" that was pretty moving. I was asleep and was dreaming of Candi and in my sleep I was crying. When I woke up, shaken from the dream, I was actually physically crying and had been crying hard enough that my pillow was wet with tears. When I woke, Larry's alarm was playing a song--what is SO strange about this is that 1. Larry's alarm should not have been going off and 2. Larry's alarm is always SO loud you can't even make out the song it voices because it is too loud to understand. Well, this particular morning, Larry's alarm was going off and it was so very quiet I had to lean to his side of the bed to make sure I was indeed hearing what I thought I was hearing--The Beatles singing Strawberry Fields Forever. If that's not God telling me Candi is OK then I don't know what is. It was very moving!
I miss her SO much!

Then May 30th, my Papa passed away peacefully in the nursing home. His death was as unexpected as it could be for an 89 and 4 month old man. He was healthy and happy and we have seen him very sick many times so that aspect made it unexpected. I think of Papa every single day and I miss him so much as well.
I think because I missed his funeral I was unable to get the closure that up until tonight I thought I had. Realizing this has proven to me that I'm not the rock that I once thought I was and I indeed can be broken. :,(