After speaking with the owner of Bay's gymnastics we've decided not to quit! She's going to talk to the instructors to work on the organization too! :)
So excited about this!
Saturday, February 16, 2013
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Goodbye Gymnastics
Tonight, February 14, 2013, Larry and I made the very difficult decision to force Bayleigh to quit something she LOVES and is good at--gymnastics. You know her love for it if you've been following my blog. It breaks my heart to do it just as much as it does hers.
On the 31st of January, Bayleigh got left behind when her group moved to a different area. It scared her to death to be left. She cried and cried because there was so much going on in the gym and she couldn't find her group. Every since that time, today makes the 3rd class since then, she has been scared and cried. She won't even go downstairs into the gym on her own without crying because she is so fearful. We told her last time if she cried again we are done because she is fine. Just look around and find your group.
Well, today again, she cried and wouldn't go downstairs and we said, ok, we're done then, lets just go home. NO! She insisted she wouldn't be scared and dried it up. So she goes down to her group that has literally tripled in size and does fine during stretches. As soon as the stretches were done the group mob rushes the instructor and Bayleigh freaks out! She completely shut down. Started bawling and was overcome by fear and anxiety again! So Larry said, lets go--we're done. So I go down to the gym and pull her out and we leave.
She was bawling because as scared as she was, she loves gymnastics just as much. She promised she wasn't scared but her tears proved no matter how brave she said she would be, she just couldn't be.
I seriously am sickened by this decision but know no other choice. I can't pay for a class that she's scared of and cries at just because she does love it. It's not fair to her to cry the whole time. It's not fair to the other kids to have to deal with it. And it's not fair to the instructors.
The part that really angers me is that yes, Bayleigh needs to buck up and stop being so afraid, especially since we've been there over a year maybe even 2 now, I can't remember, and she needs to just stop and look around and stay calm, but what makes me angry is that had her instructor that day had a better grip on her group, one of her students, being Bayleigh, wouldn't have gotten separated from the group and she wouldn't be so scared in the first place! So I'm not blaming Bayleigh 100% in this.
The whole thing has me second guessing my parenting now too! Is she too sheltered? Should we have quit when she does love it? Will she hate me for making her quit? If she wasn't so sheltered would she be a thug? (Not going to lie, typing that last one made me laugh, but it's an honest question). What am I doing right? What am I doing wrong? Will she function in society with her fears? Did I cause her fears? If I did, how?
Bayleigh, believe it or not, only wants to do what's right when she's out and about, such as at gymnastics. She lines up and follows directions and her feelings get hurt when others cut in line or act out. It hurts her feelings when others do that and are not considerate of her because she is considerate of them. She doesn't understand when it's chaotic and nobody puts a stop to the madness. I get that. I completely understand where she's coming from and now ultimately due to that madness, she had to quit what she loves. Breaks.My.Heart. It honestly does.
I emailed the owner, whom I have a great respect for so maybe a resolve will come out of it, or she might say, don't let the door hit ya on the way out--I don't know. I guess we shall see. If she responds, I'll keep you posted!
On the 31st of January, Bayleigh got left behind when her group moved to a different area. It scared her to death to be left. She cried and cried because there was so much going on in the gym and she couldn't find her group. Every since that time, today makes the 3rd class since then, she has been scared and cried. She won't even go downstairs into the gym on her own without crying because she is so fearful. We told her last time if she cried again we are done because she is fine. Just look around and find your group.
Well, today again, she cried and wouldn't go downstairs and we said, ok, we're done then, lets just go home. NO! She insisted she wouldn't be scared and dried it up. So she goes down to her group that has literally tripled in size and does fine during stretches. As soon as the stretches were done the group mob rushes the instructor and Bayleigh freaks out! She completely shut down. Started bawling and was overcome by fear and anxiety again! So Larry said, lets go--we're done. So I go down to the gym and pull her out and we leave.
She was bawling because as scared as she was, she loves gymnastics just as much. She promised she wasn't scared but her tears proved no matter how brave she said she would be, she just couldn't be.
I seriously am sickened by this decision but know no other choice. I can't pay for a class that she's scared of and cries at just because she does love it. It's not fair to her to cry the whole time. It's not fair to the other kids to have to deal with it. And it's not fair to the instructors.
The part that really angers me is that yes, Bayleigh needs to buck up and stop being so afraid, especially since we've been there over a year maybe even 2 now, I can't remember, and she needs to just stop and look around and stay calm, but what makes me angry is that had her instructor that day had a better grip on her group, one of her students, being Bayleigh, wouldn't have gotten separated from the group and she wouldn't be so scared in the first place! So I'm not blaming Bayleigh 100% in this.
The whole thing has me second guessing my parenting now too! Is she too sheltered? Should we have quit when she does love it? Will she hate me for making her quit? If she wasn't so sheltered would she be a thug? (Not going to lie, typing that last one made me laugh, but it's an honest question). What am I doing right? What am I doing wrong? Will she function in society with her fears? Did I cause her fears? If I did, how?
Bayleigh, believe it or not, only wants to do what's right when she's out and about, such as at gymnastics. She lines up and follows directions and her feelings get hurt when others cut in line or act out. It hurts her feelings when others do that and are not considerate of her because she is considerate of them. She doesn't understand when it's chaotic and nobody puts a stop to the madness. I get that. I completely understand where she's coming from and now ultimately due to that madness, she had to quit what she loves. Breaks.My.Heart. It honestly does.
I emailed the owner, whom I have a great respect for so maybe a resolve will come out of it, or she might say, don't let the door hit ya on the way out--I don't know. I guess we shall see. If she responds, I'll keep you posted!
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Volleyball
Bayleigh had her first two volleyball games tonight. She's sporty spice! Love watching her play! They lost their first game but won the second.
Update
Things in our home are going well. Other than a bout with Strep Throat that I am dealing with now. Our schedules are back to being jam packed with Good News Club, Basketball, Volleyball, Church, and Gymnastics. Last night Bayleigh had her first basketball game. It was a double header. Her team, The Teal Team, won both of their games. I believe by two points for both games, but I might be wrong about that.
Here are a couple of videos of her scoring last night! She made 4 baskets total.
Here are a couple of videos of her scoring last night! She made 4 baskets total.
Monday, February 11, 2013
A Valentine for Daddy!
Bayleigh made this in school for her daddy. Think he will figure out his "edd mirer"? Too cute!
Thursday, February 7, 2013
I Hate My Life...Jesus Calling!
As I write this post through the tears pouring down my cheeks, I am absolutely moved. We truly are so very blessed to live a life that God is guiding. He is amazing, wonderful, loving, forgiving, funny, inspiring, perfect in every way.
This morning, was TERRIBLE! Not only for me, but for Bayleigh as well. We argued before she went to school because she was not getting ready while I was packing her lunch. Every morning is a struggle around here to keep Bayleigh on task to get ready for school, but her sassy mouth just sent me over the edge. After I told her that if she didn't get her mess cleaned up off the table from the night before, I was going to throw it away--mind you, it was just paper and some dollar store paint, she started crying and stomping around the house, repeating, I HATE MY LIFE! That broke me. It literally ripped me apart and I could do nothing, but cry. I live my life for my daughter. She is the reason for my every breath. In this life, the only thing I hope to get right is raising her. I never felt more of a failure than I did at that moment. I still, can't get the sting of those words to go away and it's been 2 hours.
I did tell Bayleigh that I love her as she walked out the door, which made her cry again, so I brought her back in the house and hugged her tight and told her I wanted her to have a good day. My very best friend happens to be one of her teachers at school and she texted me to let me know that Bayleigh was still crying when she got off the bus, but she comforted her by encouraging her to pray about it and reminded her that I do love her and gave her a hug to hold on to during the day until she could come home and give me a hug. I am so blessed with having her as a BEST friend. (I LOVE YOU FRIEND)!
I too turned to prayer because it was all I knew to do. I almost immediately "heard" the instructions to read my devotions for the day. So, that is what I instantly did. One of my really good friends bought me the book of devotions, for my birthday, by Sarah Young called Jesus Calling for my kindle. (Click on the picture to purchase yourself a copy).
This morning, was TERRIBLE! Not only for me, but for Bayleigh as well. We argued before she went to school because she was not getting ready while I was packing her lunch. Every morning is a struggle around here to keep Bayleigh on task to get ready for school, but her sassy mouth just sent me over the edge. After I told her that if she didn't get her mess cleaned up off the table from the night before, I was going to throw it away--mind you, it was just paper and some dollar store paint, she started crying and stomping around the house, repeating, I HATE MY LIFE! That broke me. It literally ripped me apart and I could do nothing, but cry. I live my life for my daughter. She is the reason for my every breath. In this life, the only thing I hope to get right is raising her. I never felt more of a failure than I did at that moment. I still, can't get the sting of those words to go away and it's been 2 hours.
I did tell Bayleigh that I love her as she walked out the door, which made her cry again, so I brought her back in the house and hugged her tight and told her I wanted her to have a good day. My very best friend happens to be one of her teachers at school and she texted me to let me know that Bayleigh was still crying when she got off the bus, but she comforted her by encouraging her to pray about it and reminded her that I do love her and gave her a hug to hold on to during the day until she could come home and give me a hug. I am so blessed with having her as a BEST friend. (I LOVE YOU FRIEND)!
I too turned to prayer because it was all I knew to do. I almost immediately "heard" the instructions to read my devotions for the day. So, that is what I instantly did. One of my really good friends bought me the book of devotions, for my birthday, by Sarah Young called Jesus Calling for my kindle. (Click on the picture to purchase yourself a copy).
When I read the devotions for the day I was bawling like a baby. God knew, because he always knows, that this is what was going to happen and that this is what I needed. I was crying because he is so wonderful. What have I done in my life to deserve the love that he provides? Nothing. The answer to that question is nothing, but yet he still loves. He still provides. If that isn't humbling then I don't know what is.
Here is the devotions for the day. I guess this would be called an excerpt from the book. I am not sure if this is legal or not so I will also link both of the following pictures to Amazon's website so that you may purchase a copy of the book for yourself. One will be the Kindle edition, just like the above picture and the second will be the hard copy of the book.
After reading today's I think you will understand exactly why I was so moved. (You might have to click on each one of the pictures to make them bigger so you can read them).
If this wasn't our God loving me, an awesomely flawed, child of his, then I don't know what is. I am, we are, so lucky. So loved!
If you do not want to order from Amazon I did buy a hard copy of the book at Wal-Mart last month for $14.99. I don't know how long they will carry the book for though and as you can see, it is way cheaper to buy it from Amazon.com.
Monday, February 4, 2013
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