This morning, was TERRIBLE! Not only for me, but for Bayleigh as well. We argued before she went to school because she was not getting ready while I was packing her lunch. Every morning is a struggle around here to keep Bayleigh on task to get ready for school, but her sassy mouth just sent me over the edge. After I told her that if she didn't get her mess cleaned up off the table from the night before, I was going to throw it away--mind you, it was just paper and some dollar store paint, she started crying and stomping around the house, repeating, I HATE MY LIFE! That broke me. It literally ripped me apart and I could do nothing, but cry. I live my life for my daughter. She is the reason for my every breath. In this life, the only thing I hope to get right is raising her. I never felt more of a failure than I did at that moment. I still, can't get the sting of those words to go away and it's been 2 hours.
I did tell Bayleigh that I love her as she walked out the door, which made her cry again, so I brought her back in the house and hugged her tight and told her I wanted her to have a good day. My very best friend happens to be one of her teachers at school and she texted me to let me know that Bayleigh was still crying when she got off the bus, but she comforted her by encouraging her to pray about it and reminded her that I do love her and gave her a hug to hold on to during the day until she could come home and give me a hug. I am so blessed with having her as a BEST friend. (I LOVE YOU FRIEND)!
I too turned to prayer because it was all I knew to do. I almost immediately "heard" the instructions to read my devotions for the day. So, that is what I instantly did. One of my really good friends bought me the book of devotions, for my birthday, by Sarah Young called Jesus Calling for my kindle. (Click on the picture to purchase yourself a copy).
When I read the devotions for the day I was bawling like a baby. God knew, because he always knows, that this is what was going to happen and that this is what I needed. I was crying because he is so wonderful. What have I done in my life to deserve the love that he provides? Nothing. The answer to that question is nothing, but yet he still loves. He still provides. If that isn't humbling then I don't know what is.
Here is the devotions for the day. I guess this would be called an excerpt from the book. I am not sure if this is legal or not so I will also link both of the following pictures to Amazon's website so that you may purchase a copy of the book for yourself. One will be the Kindle edition, just like the above picture and the second will be the hard copy of the book.
After reading today's I think you will understand exactly why I was so moved. (You might have to click on each one of the pictures to make them bigger so you can read them).
If this wasn't our God loving me, an awesomely flawed, child of his, then I don't know what is. I am, we are, so lucky. So loved!
If you do not want to order from Amazon I did buy a hard copy of the book at Wal-Mart last month for $14.99. I don't know how long they will carry the book for though and as you can see, it is way cheaper to buy it from Amazon.com.
No comments:
Post a Comment